You Know Your A Blonde When...

Last night after getting all ready for bed, I came into the flat where Elaine was already asleep. I quietly finished up my last minute things, then went to the door to lock up.  I pulled the first gate closed, shut the door, slid the bottom bolt across the door, then went to get the key for the last bolt. I looked up to the place where it usually hangs, but it wasn't there. I started to look around on the table top, before I remembered with a sinking feeling I had brought the keys in the house earlier that day. A moment of slight panic followed, until my common sense kicked in. All I had to do was climb over the sleeping Elaine to get to the window, open it, jump to the ground, hope the door to the house wasn't locked yet, and go inside and find the keys. Simple enough. The first thing I did was put on my flip flops to protect my feet from the thorns that were no doubt on the ground under the window. I didn't want to step on Elaine's bed and wake her, which would likely make her freak to see someone standing over her while she's sleeping. I quickly looked around for something to stand on. My eyes came to the computer chair… with 6 rolly wheels. Not thinking of the possible safety hazards, I hopped unto the chair, placed strategically by the bed, and stretched myself out until I reached the window ledge, just like a scene from an FBI movie. The ledge on the inside was slightly more narrow than I planned, but I managed to get my body unto the ledge without a stir from Elaine. Next I made the leap from the sill to the ground, hoping to land on even ground, avoiding any broken bones. Once I hit the ground, I ran to the door of the house, praying the door would be open. Thankfully it was. I walked over to the top f the fridge, got the keys and turned around to go back to the flat. I was home free-or so I thought. Using the little bronze key, I unlocked the first sliding gate. I turned the handle of the door, pouched on it, and remembered I hadn't unlocked the other lock! Trying to decide wether or not to just wake up Elaine and ask her to just get the door for me, I thought of my other options. The window ledge is just high enough that I need to stand on something in order to successfully get up. I could go back into the house and ask for help or at least a chair or something to stand on, or… Just the my eyes turned and saw the bench flipped upside-down on the ground. I decided to maintain my pride, and the feeling of being in the FBI (haha) and go for the bench option. I picked up the bench and took it over to the window. I got it steady enough on the ground, then stood on it. I lifted myself the rest of the way until there I was again, in the window, looking down at the sleeping Elaine, who doesn't know a thing about what I'm doing just to save her some hassle in the morning. I placed the keys safely inside, then tried to get my foot planted safely on the chair. As I was coming down, one foot on the rolly chair, the other on the window sill, the chair starts to roll away. I grabbed onto the nearest thing, which luckily happened to be the dresser, and held on for dear life at a 45 degree angle. When I steadied myself, I then hopped from the chair to safety. I promptly walked over to the door, and started the locking up process again. I got to the last lock once again before looking down at my hands, that were filthy. With sheer disbelief, I opened everything up for the third time, and went to wash my hands. I locked up again, and this time I was able to hang up the keys, above Elaine, who had no idea until the next day, what I had just been through. Only in Africa.